problems....

I am not sure, not even a single bit about the stupid problems I have, about the stupid acts I do, about the stupid imagination I do..
I am just sure that my problems are bigger, they are complicated, they are not minor things, they are meaner and they are painful.
I am just sure that my problems are hurting me, they are eating me inside and outside, they are just compressing me, they are making me cry, they are making me die.
I am not sure about any other things, any other thing.....

Suddenly, I meet a little girl of about 5 or 6.....
She enters the room, smiles at me
Not only me but every one, every one in the room, she just gives a smile that can teach every ruthless human to see the juice and greenery of life.. that kind of smile..just a hypnotic smile.
Bright eyes, wide mouth, glowing skin, cute looks and a magical laughter, a really aluring one.
She sat infront of me, she looked at me, she glanced and she just glimpsed me.....
I was afraid of her looks, her glances, her glimpses because it was too powerful, too much.. as if the sun, the heating star is getting nearer and nearer to burn you alive..
But I was more afraid because my problems will shadow her heat, her power, her magic!
I just did not want to hurt other because of me, just not my principle...
My problems were great wall china, and innocent face of that kid could easily get affected..
So, I said rudely, "go away" you don't want my problems to get you too"
I said twice as I just wanted her betterment... just her betterment..

But she again gave the same look, the same smile and the same hypnotic aura...
She did not hear anything, she did not talk any simple word, she just smiled.

Suddenly, her mother called her using her hands, scolded for sitting with strangers using her hands, using the sign language that I could not understand, I guess no one could.

Then, something just came inside my head that she is deaf, she is dumb, she is both and these two are her problems, the problems bigger than mine, meaner than mine, painful than mine and devastating than mine..

For the first time I loved being defeated, I loved being conquered by her problems and her pain to my minor and simple problems, so small and so of atomic quality..

But one thing that I was jealous of her, envy of her because of her magic smile on her face and charm that could glorify everything, everything in this universe.
And I was there, right there only being jealous, only crying over my stupid pains and problems not even smiling at the great and beautiful life of mine that even the small disabled kid could see!

So I am now not sure of my common sense, not sure of mine existence, not sure of my own self...
and I again started to imagine the same old process I guess UNTILL I MEET SOMEONE MAGICAL LIKE HER!!!